fresh start

iv deleted all my old blogs
i need a fresh start, i need motivation!
iv lost all my will power & have somehow achieved what the americans call the freshmen 15!
i am disgusted with myself!
& the holidays havent helped.
sometimes i wish i smoked just so i could have something to surpress my appetite
looking back at ols pictures from this time last year, my stomach was so concave, my hip & colar bones stuck right out but not now
clothes feel tighter on me, iv started wearing baggy things so that people dont see the fat thro the tight clothes
I need help!!!
or sex, thats good for replacing hunger
god i remember enjoying the feeling of hunger, now i eat when im hungry
im so down right now.