Get skinny for Action!

Action boy is wanting to see me again, not seen him since october!
god we had an amazing night but we didnt have sex
he spent the night begging to fuck me
but i wouldnt let him
i didnt want him getting everything in one night- the smart thing to do, keeps them coming back for more
a theory that iv recently proven =/
but yeah
he was amazed at how thin i was yet i had big boobs
so im going to have to loose weight like crazy for him
just in my waist really
so fasting for the days before i see him
so that im beautiful for him

god i cant wait!
he made me cum soooo many times last time
he is amazing

We are nothing more than fuck buddies, this is true but I still want to look good for him

so I have set myself the ambishious target of loosing 10lbs in a week!!!

I hope i can do it!

do you believe in fate?

I bumped into Vampire boy today as I came out of the train station, oh he is so beautiful, he was with his friend and they were going to get a train themselfs but we had a quick catch up, god im crazy about him!

But yes Fate
I had planned to leave college at lunch, but i stayed on to do some more work
I then planned to go home at 3pm but my friend felt really sick so I waited with her untill her dad came to collect her
so i just decided to leave at 4 with everyone else
I was going to go and buy some CDs and would have needed to go out the door way at the back of the train station
but again I changed my mind, i decided that it was too cold and I wanted to get straight home
plus i proposly started walking slower as i went through the station ( i was doing it to hold someones attention)
and with all these put together i walked right into Vampire boy

If i had decided to go through with any of the original plans i had, I would not have seen him today, he also said that they were going to go shopping but, they couldnt be bothered going through the crowds.

Its times like these that I wonder if fate is real, like I was in the right place at the right time & with that, that my life is on the right track right now
Im so happy right now, it may have only been 5-10mins i spent with him but its been the highlight of my year so far :):)

random survey

Girl Confessions
[x] I'm straight.
[] I'm gay.
[x] I'm bi.
[] I'm easy.
[x] I wear make up.
[x] When I walk by mirrors, I can't help but look
[x] When I walk by mirrors, I like what I see
[x]When I walk by mirrors, I hate what I see.
[] I wear a bra to bed.
[x] Ocassionally I sleep naked.
[x] I wear toe nail polish.
[x] I have cried at a movie theater.
[x] I'm not gonna stop talking to someone just because my boyfriend doesnt like him
[x] I've purposely talked to a guy my boyfriend didn't like.
[] I love chocolate covered pretzels.
[x] Getting a flower makes me smile, especially for no reason.
[x] I've wrecked a car.
[] I can't put mascara/eyeliner on without opening my mouth.
[x] I'd do anything for that special guy.
[] I get jealous easily.
[x] I love cuddling.
[x] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[] I've gotten a detention.
[] I've gotten suspended.
[] I've gotten expelled.
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I carry a purse everywhere.
[x] I carry a bag everywhere.
[] I'd be lost without my cell phone.
[] I'd be lost without my mp3/CD player.
[x] I did own a Spice Girls CD.
[x] I own/did own a Britney Spears CD.
[x] I own/did own a boy band CD.
[] Football isn't boring.
[x] I love athletic boys
[] I love country boys .
[x] I love skater guys.
[x] I love punk guys.
[] I love gangsta guys.
[x] I love emo guys.
[x] I love gothic guys.
[x] I love nerds.
[x] I love guys that are just themselves.
[x] I love guys with longish hair.
[] I love guys with mohawks.
[x] Guys are confusing.
[x] I've been called a tease.
[] I've been called a slut.
[x] I've been called a bad influence.
[x] Lip gloss is better than lipstick.
[x] I can't leave the house without makeup.
[] I can play video games, even when there are other people around.
[x] My friends are the best, and they're important to me.
[x] I would do anything for my friends.
[x] I want to be with a certain someone right now.
[] I smoke way too much.
[] I drink way too much.
[] I have a tattoo.
[x] I have (a) piercing

no money

well I just went to get the contracts sorted and pay the deposit for my new flat so thas me now down £250 more than usual
im not going to be able to buy food, even if i wanted to or anything else for that matter.

Im also watching and old skatebording dvd of mine, making me want to start boarding again, only thing is I dont have a board anymore and as I said, cant afford to buy one

but yes i need a little bit of focus right now since I have alot of work for tomorrow

ok wtf?

I haven't heard from DJ since i saw him, i dont understand?
he has deleted me from myspace & he's not on my msn friends list anymore?
I really dont understand, when you delete someone from msn does your contact now disapear the persons account too?

What is going on i mean seriously? we had an amazing time!
And it was a no strings thing, does he think that im going to be all clingy, wanting to be his girlfriend shit?
Ugh I just feel compleatly used

And on top of that Iv not heard from Vampire boy in about a week either.

I just feel like a piece of worthless shit.

disgusting

I just had to go out for lunch with my parents, I feel so sick!
I want to go down to the pharmacy and get ipecac or something
i had a bowl of leak and potato soup, salad, baked veg pastry & a few chips
i didnt finish the soup or the pastry and i scraped all the cheese off but i feel so so sick
plus work last night was shit so im really tired and the slightest things are putting me in a bad mood
I just want to cry, this is horrible
i just want to rip my stomach open and gut out everything inside

Target dress

right i went out sales shopping with my gran today and she bought be this really beautiful and unusual dress
but when i got back home and tried it on, it does fit but its is really tight round my ass and legs!
coz its like a tight fitting pencil skirt with a short puff ball skirt over the top
but when im wearing it, its so tight that i dont like sitting down it in coz i feel the seams are going to burst!
iv been doing really well the last few days but this is just extra motivation
i want this dress to fit me perfectly by the end of january!
so the focus is going to be on my ass and thighs
fingers crossed

and I cannot stop thinking about DJ!
not that I feel for him like I do with Vampire boy, its just the sex with DJ was so amazing I keep re-living it in my head!
although I keep puttting Vampire boy in his place. See I have not yet had sex with him, I want my first time with him to be special and mean something.
but god DJ was just...WOW!!!

but yes loose the ass and thigh fat!!!

Happy new year

I got so drunk, I haddn't intened to but by the end of the night I was tired and just accepting drinks, I feel like shit, so many calories, and with my lack of sleep and food I still feel drunk.
plus time of month, I'm going crazy with cravings and im in pain.
but my new years resolutions

1. go vegan again
it wont be as restricted as before since my mother didnt like me doing it and doctors told me I couldnt survive on it seeing as my body naturally lacks so many vitimins so if I have to dairy will only be consumed in social situations.
2. focus more on my work and projects- compleat things in time rather than night before.
3.excersise much much more
4. love and fuck more- unless Vampire boy askeds me to be his girlfriend, then I shall be commited to him for I do believe I truly love him.
& that kinda ties in with the previous one for excersize
5. read more books
6. go out with my friends more
7.learn to play my guitar propperly
8. take more pictures
9. loose weight and try to start modelling
10. regain an individual style
11. become famouse but for a reason definatly not through any reality tv means
12.meet more famouse people - kind of ties in with the above
13. make more money so that I can relieve my mother of some of the financial support she gives me, just to make life easyer for her
14. learn to drive
15. one day get a bus or a train to anywere, london, manchester ect preferibly I'd go to america but I doubt I would be able to afford it.

well thats all I can think of for now, I will update it no doubt when I think of more.